Staying strong!

Just in the last week I've noticed a change in my attitude. Reaching a milestone feels so damn good, and it seems to have finally clicked that, well, if that milestone felt so good, then I can't wait to get to the next! I had so much trouble after I hit 50 pounds, because instead of rewarding myself with, say, a new outfit, I pigged out! Not ridiculously, because I obviously have continued losing weight since then, but I did gain a few pounds of it back initially. That was a trying time, because right after I got to 50 pounds, I moved to Spain. It was incredibly stressful, and really, really hard to get myself back on plan. It took a month, minimum, before I really got myself back in check. And then after my trip to Italy last month, it took a few weeks to really get back to it. The trouble there was that I was walking an average of 25 kilometers (about 15 miles) a day, and eating anything I wanted (and lots of it), without repercussions. When I got back my stomach was still accustomed to that extra food, so I'd reach my daily points, and still be starving.
But now I'm back on track, and even being able to resist when something sweet or savory is pushed my way. Last night my friends and I all had dinner together; our friend Miles cooked steak milanesa (I believe that's the name) for us, along with mashed potatoes and some green beans. It all was so delicious, but when it came time to serve myself, I only took a small (and normal-sized, in my opinion) piece of the meat (hey, it was breaded and then fried in oil!), and decent, but not big, portions of both sides. Had it been the weekend, I'd have probably taken more, but this was mid-week, and I would like to see another loss when I weigh myself tomorrow morning. I was a bit taken aback, though, when one of my friends shouted at me when she saw my piece of meat, "WHAT the hell is that!? It's so tiny!" I did stay calm, though, told her that there was more if I wanted it, and reminded her that I was trying to lose weight, and it wasn't the weekend. She did back off. But SOME of us can't eat whatever we want and still see a number we like on the scale; it's just as simple as that. And I don't want to maintain, either. I want to continue losing. Ugh, it can be so difficult to stay on track when there are others around you, pressuring you to eat or drink what they're having. Another example: I don't drink during the week. I just don't. I allow myself a drink or two on Friday evenings, and then I drink a bit more heavily on Saturday, if I decide to go out. But I limit it to that. Last night they opened up a bottle of wine, and looked shocked when I declined. ALL OF THEM KNOW THAT I'M TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. It's nothing new! And then they absolutely insisted that I have a bit so that we could do a toast. I guess it's not proper to do a toast without alcohol. Does that mean people that never drink can never toast to anything? Sigh, see my dilemma? Well, yeah, anyone that's ever been on a diet surely has been in the same situation. Last summer I was actually made fun of for weighing my food! Seriously? The girl was so skinny, too, and always ate junk. That's fine, I'm happy for her. I wish I could do the same, but I can't. I don't want to seem unreasonable; I'm not. I allow myself all kinds of treats, but they have to be within my points. My cheat days can wait until the weekend. It has worked for me so far, and I'm not going to change it. I'm getting better at resisting people's pressure.
I'm also getting better at saying NO after one or two sweet things. This evening I made buckeyes. If you're from or near Ohio, you'll very likely know what these are. They're round candies: peanut butter and various other ingredients (to make them sweet and soft and melt in your mouth), rolled into little balls, then dipped in chocolate. They're absolutely sinful, and about 2.5 points for one. But they're basically my favorite sweet, and being from Ohio, I wanted to expose some of my friends to what's popular there. So I made a bunch of them this evening. I ate a couple, but don't have this pulling urge (which I usually do) to go into the kitchen and eat the rest of them. Maybe because tomorrow is weigh-in? Though I've been quite naughty on a Thursday before. I don't know, I think I'm just really liking what the scale is doing right now, and don't want to mess that up. Plus, they're to share. But here's my deal with sweets: I've never been able to say no. I always buy way more than I need to be satisfied, and even if I'm full and my stomach is starting to hurt, I CAN'T stop eating them. It's ridiculous and I hate it, but as I said, I have gotten much better. I restrain myself much more and can actually say "no" now. It's very much a relief. I don't like being a slave to sweet things.
Right, I'm off. I want to practice some guitar before I head out for the evening.
I doubt anyone but me is reading this, but if you are, hi and thanks and I hope you get something from my rambling. :)