Another milestone

Hi again! It's Sunday morning...weird, until recently I could sleep more or less as many hours as I wanted during the night, then wake up mid-afternoon on the weekend. Now, like clockwork, no matter what time I go to bed, 9:30 seems to be it. That might seem late to some people, but for me it's an excellent time. There are still several hours of morning, and I don't feel like I've slept half the day away.
Anyway, to the point. I used to go to Weight Watchers meetings, and did very well with them. I miss them, in fact. But, there are no meetings anywhere near where I am in Spain, so I'm left following the plan on my own. Luckily, I had about 9 months of doing Weight Watchers before having to do it on my own, so I was able to stay successful. I'm thankful for that. It seems that my will power is stronger than I'd thought. Well, now that I don't have a weekly meeting, I have my own weigh-in here at my lovely Spanish apartment. I weighed myself on Friday and I've finally officially made it to 70 pounds (70.4, to be precise)! I feel like some serious rejoicing here! It's been some months since I made it to 60, and I'm feeling very motivated these last few days. After I'm done putzing around on here, I'm going to do some working out, too. I've been putting that off far too much lately.
I wanted to talk a bit about why I miss my meetings so much. I mean, I obviously don't need them, right? Why pay to go to meetings if I can do it on my own for free? Quite simply, I really, REALLY miss the support system that I had. Not that my friends here aren't supportive, but it's not quite so easy to discuss all of my feelings about my weight-loss with them. Not to mention, having a loss at a meeting means automatic bragging rights, you know that everyone is happy for you, can relate, and you can congratulate your fellow weight-losers. :) And then the leader always asks you how it feels. There's nothing awkward about it; that's why you're there. As it is, I feel like I'm just tooting my own horn when I open up and tell my friends that I've lost another pound or whatever. It feels strange to bring it up. And how do I explain to someone who's never gone through what I have gone through all the complex emotions and changes in character that go with these changes? What I mean is, my entire attitude and outlook on life has changed in the last year and a half. I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but as someone who's lost a significant amount of weight and whose body has gone through quite a transformation, I can that it has been an emotional journey, as well. How to put it? I used to look in the mirror in complete disgust. I wasn't quite to the point of hating myself, but I certainly did put myself down and call myself useless for being so fat and not having the power to change it. I was also a bit of a hermit. Don't get me wrong, I have never had a problem talking to people or expressing myself, and I had my circle of friends, but I never went out with them. I was too embarrassed about my body to ever consider dancing in public. And then buying clothes was a complete nightmare. In order to find clothes that looked halfway decent on me, I had to shop in specific stores. And even then, I was always conscious of the fact that my pants size was just as big as ever. I was so embarrassed by myself. And then when I did go to my first WW meeting and finally found out what my true weight was, I cringed. I was way too embarrassed to tell anyone my real weight. 235.2 pounds, I weighed then, and I wore a size 22. And now? 164.8 pounds (I haven't been in the US for the past 8 months, so I don't know what size I wear, but I have lost 10 inches in my waist). I'm not embarrassed by it anymore. Gosh, I could go on for days about the differences in my life now. Food: It's not such an obstacle, not like it was. I will always struggle, I'm sure, with making good decisions, but it's not as difficult as it was, and it's another point where the embarrassment is gone. Eating in public, for instance. I'm okay with it now. If I want to eat dessert with my friends, I do it. I no longer have this nagging thought that people are watching and judging the fat girl. And the mirror! It's my friend now; I can finally look in and like what I see. That, in itself, is enough to make me cry with joy. I really love myself now, completely, which has changed my world.
Like I said, I could go on and on. My former embarrassment is only a part of it. How about the fact that walking a half hour seems like nothing now? My body is so much more efficient, and I'm not afraid of a bit of exercise. That's a nice thing. I'm actually in much better shape than some of my skinnier companions.
I'm still mid-transformation; I have a number of pounds yet (I say that because I do not yet know what my goal weight is, but I think I'll know when I get there) before I'll be at my ideal weight. But I'm happy at last, and that is everything.