Vacation

This family and I just got back (well, two days ago) from a short vacation in the Pyrenees mountains. Such a lovely time! Though, I did eat, more or less, whatever I wanted. A good sign, however, is that much of the time I found myself wanting more healthful foods. But the down side is that even when I do attempt to order something that, in theory, should be healthful, it's always drenched in oil! This is my biggest beef with Spain, is that everything is cooked in oil. And not just a tiny bit, mind you, but loads of it! Hey, I am a fan of olive oil, but just a bit, drizzled onto my food after it has been prepared. At just about any restaurant here in Spain, one has the option of ordering the Menu of the Day during lunch hours during the week (and often on the weekend, at a higher price). This always includes a first and a second, and usually bread, a drink, and a dessert (occasionally the drink or the bread will be extra), and costs somewhere between 8 and 15 Euros, depending on the city and the amount of tourists. So on vacation, I ordered green beans as a first, and grilled squid as a second. But I had to scrape the oil off of the squid with my fork. Come ON, certainly there's a way to cook it without all of the oil. Hmph, and as a result of my increased oil consumption of late (this family likes to cook with it, too), my stomach has really been hurting, and well, you know the kind of uncomfortable problems that leads to. :(
Boneless, skinless chicken breast. Sirloin steak, pork chops. All of these can be cooked on the stove top WITHOUT any oil or butter or what-have-you. I do it all the time. Sure, the flavor isn't as strong, but that is why we have so many spices at our disposal. I'm happy with a bit of salt and pepper on my chicken. I want to taste the chicken, not the oil. UFFFF!
Okay, rant over. Vacation WAS lovely. On Friday we went on this cool excursion through the mountains, about 7 hours walking, though much of the time it was at the little girl's pace, so it wasn't strenuous at all. That's alright, though. I'm not a fan of breaking a sweat if it can be avoided. I was really proud of Maider (the little girl), though. She walked a lot of the way on her own, what a champ! Then that night, we ate at a really nice restaurant, and I had the most delicious steak of my life. I used to get my steaks well-cooked, but of late I have been more interested in eating them rare. Don't ask me what has happened to my palate...I used to be a picky eater, and now I'll eat (or at least try) almost anything. I try not to turn my nose up until I'm sure I don't like it, and even then I give it a few goes. I'm still trying to like pimientos de padrón (a very popular side dish here, which are basically these little grilled peppers, some of them are hot, some not; it's a surprise), so I have one or two each time, and I can only assume that eventually my taste buds will adjust. Hey, I didn't always love wine. I had to make myself like it! Seems a bit silly, I know. But I think it's easier to just like everything than to have to tell someone "Well, I don't like this or this or this so don't cook it for me, please." I'm happy that I can tell this family that "I like everything." It's also much more convenient for me that I now like (almost) all veggies. A positive change in my gastronomical world.
Oh, I also tried snails for the first time on Saturday night. Interesting. I liked them, and ate a number, though it's not something that I would probably order on my own. A few weeks ago I ate stuffed sheep's intestine. And liked it. My parents (especially my Dad) would be so proud. Well, my Mom would probably be disgusted, but proud nonetheless. :)
Alright. Got some lessons to plan. When I say lessons, I mean that I have to think of some conversation topics, and that's about it. I have a number of classes later today. Also, I'm probably boring you to tears. Have a good one, whoever you are.

I'm melting, I'm meeeeltiiiiing

Well, you know, not really. Did have another loss this week, though. Down another 1.4 pounds, which equals -74.2, I believe. Yaaaay!
I must admit, I was a bit worried for this week. I've just moved to a new place, with the Spanish family that I'm living with for the summer, and as they are now cooking for me much of the time, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to keep a good handle on my point-intake. Luckily for me, though, they are very understanding of the fact that I am trying to lose weight, and are quite healthful eaters themselves. So it's nice for me. It's really an ideal situation for me, because they are a very young family. Often with older Spanish mothers, they try to shove seconds and thirds down your throat. This family is lovely, eats normal quantities of food, loves chocolate and sweets, but eats it in moderation and doesn't insist and insist when I turn down chocolate or cookies or bread or what-have-you. I'm so relieved!
I'm also a bit further from the center of the city now, and from Maider(the little girl I'm watching during the day sometimes)'s school, so I've found myself walking an average of 2 hours a day, what with going back and forth all the time. I don't mind, though; I love the extra exercise, which doesn't really seem like exercise.
Speaking of back and forth, I've got another class which I've got to get to. That will add at least an extra half hour of walking today! :)
Peace!

Another loss

It's like it's falling off now. I weighed myself first thing this morning, and weighed in at 162.4. I was a bit shocked, actually. That's a 2.4 pound loss since last week. I then ate a bit of breaky, then caught my bus to Pradejón for my last day of teaching until October (well, not really, I'll still continue my private classes). I had a tiny snack, just a fruit and nut bar (a couple of points), and then got home around 3. Just for kicks, I stepped on the scale, and it said 160.4. Good lord, though. I mean, I know I hadn't eaten much, but seems like a huge, huge loss in just one week. I went ahead and stuck with the number from this morning, just in case it was the lack of food that was showing that. I'm not complaining, obviously; I just find it strange.
Anyway, a loss is a loss, which is reason to celebrate. Every day I'm closer to my goal, even if I don't have a concrete goal in mind yet. Life is great.

Staying strong!

Just in the last week I've noticed a change in my attitude. Reaching a milestone feels so damn good, and it seems to have finally clicked that, well, if that milestone felt so good, then I can't wait to get to the next! I had so much trouble after I hit 50 pounds, because instead of rewarding myself with, say, a new outfit, I pigged out! Not ridiculously, because I obviously have continued losing weight since then, but I did gain a few pounds of it back initially. That was a trying time, because right after I got to 50 pounds, I moved to Spain. It was incredibly stressful, and really, really hard to get myself back on plan. It took a month, minimum, before I really got myself back in check. And then after my trip to Italy last month, it took a few weeks to really get back to it. The trouble there was that I was walking an average of 25 kilometers (about 15 miles) a day, and eating anything I wanted (and lots of it), without repercussions. When I got back my stomach was still accustomed to that extra food, so I'd reach my daily points, and still be starving.
But now I'm back on track, and even being able to resist when something sweet or savory is pushed my way. Last night my friends and I all had dinner together; our friend Miles cooked steak milanesa (I believe that's the name) for us, along with mashed potatoes and some green beans. It all was so delicious, but when it came time to serve myself, I only took a small (and normal-sized, in my opinion) piece of the meat (hey, it was breaded and then fried in oil!), and decent, but not big, portions of both sides. Had it been the weekend, I'd have probably taken more, but this was mid-week, and I would like to see another loss when I weigh myself tomorrow morning. I was a bit taken aback, though, when one of my friends shouted at me when she saw my piece of meat, "WHAT the hell is that!? It's so tiny!" I did stay calm, though, told her that there was more if I wanted it, and reminded her that I was trying to lose weight, and it wasn't the weekend. She did back off. But SOME of us can't eat whatever we want and still see a number we like on the scale; it's just as simple as that. And I don't want to maintain, either. I want to continue losing. Ugh, it can be so difficult to stay on track when there are others around you, pressuring you to eat or drink what they're having. Another example: I don't drink during the week. I just don't. I allow myself a drink or two on Friday evenings, and then I drink a bit more heavily on Saturday, if I decide to go out. But I limit it to that. Last night they opened up a bottle of wine, and looked shocked when I declined. ALL OF THEM KNOW THAT I'M TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. It's nothing new! And then they absolutely insisted that I have a bit so that we could do a toast. I guess it's not proper to do a toast without alcohol. Does that mean people that never drink can never toast to anything? Sigh, see my dilemma? Well, yeah, anyone that's ever been on a diet surely has been in the same situation. Last summer I was actually made fun of for weighing my food! Seriously? The girl was so skinny, too, and always ate junk. That's fine, I'm happy for her. I wish I could do the same, but I can't. I don't want to seem unreasonable; I'm not. I allow myself all kinds of treats, but they have to be within my points. My cheat days can wait until the weekend. It has worked for me so far, and I'm not going to change it. I'm getting better at resisting people's pressure.
I'm also getting better at saying NO after one or two sweet things. This evening I made buckeyes. If you're from or near Ohio, you'll very likely know what these are. They're round candies: peanut butter and various other ingredients (to make them sweet and soft and melt in your mouth), rolled into little balls, then dipped in chocolate. They're absolutely sinful, and about 2.5 points for one. But they're basically my favorite sweet, and being from Ohio, I wanted to expose some of my friends to what's popular there. So I made a bunch of them this evening. I ate a couple, but don't have this pulling urge (which I usually do) to go into the kitchen and eat the rest of them. Maybe because tomorrow is weigh-in? Though I've been quite naughty on a Thursday before. I don't know, I think I'm just really liking what the scale is doing right now, and don't want to mess that up. Plus, they're to share. But here's my deal with sweets: I've never been able to say no. I always buy way more than I need to be satisfied, and even if I'm full and my stomach is starting to hurt, I CAN'T stop eating them. It's ridiculous and I hate it, but as I said, I have gotten much better. I restrain myself much more and can actually say "no" now. It's very much a relief. I don't like being a slave to sweet things.
Right, I'm off. I want to practice some guitar before I head out for the evening.
I doubt anyone but me is reading this, but if you are, hi and thanks and I hope you get something from my rambling. :)

Another milestone

Hi again! It's Sunday morning...weird, until recently I could sleep more or less as many hours as I wanted during the night, then wake up mid-afternoon on the weekend. Now, like clockwork, no matter what time I go to bed, 9:30 seems to be it. That might seem late to some people, but for me it's an excellent time. There are still several hours of morning, and I don't feel like I've slept half the day away.
Anyway, to the point. I used to go to Weight Watchers meetings, and did very well with them. I miss them, in fact. But, there are no meetings anywhere near where I am in Spain, so I'm left following the plan on my own. Luckily, I had about 9 months of doing Weight Watchers before having to do it on my own, so I was able to stay successful. I'm thankful for that. It seems that my will power is stronger than I'd thought. Well, now that I don't have a weekly meeting, I have my own weigh-in here at my lovely Spanish apartment. I weighed myself on Friday and I've finally officially made it to 70 pounds (70.4, to be precise)! I feel like some serious rejoicing here! It's been some months since I made it to 60, and I'm feeling very motivated these last few days. After I'm done putzing around on here, I'm going to do some working out, too. I've been putting that off far too much lately.
I wanted to talk a bit about why I miss my meetings so much. I mean, I obviously don't need them, right? Why pay to go to meetings if I can do it on my own for free? Quite simply, I really, REALLY miss the support system that I had. Not that my friends here aren't supportive, but it's not quite so easy to discuss all of my feelings about my weight-loss with them. Not to mention, having a loss at a meeting means automatic bragging rights, you know that everyone is happy for you, can relate, and you can congratulate your fellow weight-losers. :) And then the leader always asks you how it feels. There's nothing awkward about it; that's why you're there. As it is, I feel like I'm just tooting my own horn when I open up and tell my friends that I've lost another pound or whatever. It feels strange to bring it up. And how do I explain to someone who's never gone through what I have gone through all the complex emotions and changes in character that go with these changes? What I mean is, my entire attitude and outlook on life has changed in the last year and a half. I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but as someone who's lost a significant amount of weight and whose body has gone through quite a transformation, I can that it has been an emotional journey, as well. How to put it? I used to look in the mirror in complete disgust. I wasn't quite to the point of hating myself, but I certainly did put myself down and call myself useless for being so fat and not having the power to change it. I was also a bit of a hermit. Don't get me wrong, I have never had a problem talking to people or expressing myself, and I had my circle of friends, but I never went out with them. I was too embarrassed about my body to ever consider dancing in public. And then buying clothes was a complete nightmare. In order to find clothes that looked halfway decent on me, I had to shop in specific stores. And even then, I was always conscious of the fact that my pants size was just as big as ever. I was so embarrassed by myself. And then when I did go to my first WW meeting and finally found out what my true weight was, I cringed. I was way too embarrassed to tell anyone my real weight. 235.2 pounds, I weighed then, and I wore a size 22. And now? 164.8 pounds (I haven't been in the US for the past 8 months, so I don't know what size I wear, but I have lost 10 inches in my waist). I'm not embarrassed by it anymore. Gosh, I could go on for days about the differences in my life now. Food: It's not such an obstacle, not like it was. I will always struggle, I'm sure, with making good decisions, but it's not as difficult as it was, and it's another point where the embarrassment is gone. Eating in public, for instance. I'm okay with it now. If I want to eat dessert with my friends, I do it. I no longer have this nagging thought that people are watching and judging the fat girl. And the mirror! It's my friend now; I can finally look in and like what I see. That, in itself, is enough to make me cry with joy. I really love myself now, completely, which has changed my world.
Like I said, I could go on and on. My former embarrassment is only a part of it. How about the fact that walking a half hour seems like nothing now? My body is so much more efficient, and I'm not afraid of a bit of exercise. That's a nice thing. I'm actually in much better shape than some of my skinnier companions.
I'm still mid-transformation; I have a number of pounds yet (I say that because I do not yet know what my goal weight is, but I think I'll know when I get there) before I'll be at my ideal weight. But I'm happy at last, and that is everything.

Well, that wasn't so hard...

Dieting is a funny thing. A funny and annoying thing. I've been struggling to get back on plan, and the last week or so have almost made it, then fell off track at the end of the day. Take Sunday, for example: I started the day off well, then went on a walk with some friends, and ended up stopping for ice cream. And then we found ourselves getting dinner together, THEN got sweets afterward. I let others have too much of an impact on my diet. And then Monday, I was doing so, so well, and then one of my student's mother gave me a bag of Swiss chocolates for my birthday (which was last week). Guess who ate the entire bag when she got home? If not for those damn chocolates, I'd have been within my points, no problem. I didn't even want the chocolates! But I can't say no to sweets; it's my biggest downfall. I've definitely gotten a lot better of the last year and a half about pacing myself and only buying what I know will satisfy me (rather than buying a huge bag and then continuing to eat them far after I'm full), but my sweet tooth must have its own zip code.
Anyway. I've been down on myself a bit, because the scale has let me know that I'm up a few pounds. I finally got with it yesterday, for the most part. Had lots of water, and some green tea as well, and stayed on plans. I had a few extra points, but it was just from eating a couple of pieces of fruit and some yogurt. And just like that, the scale was nearly back down to normal this morning. So, I think the extra pounds were more from extra sodium and reduced water intake than anything else. I'm a lot more active now than I used to be, so I can get away with eating a few more calories now, as my body is much more efficient at burning them off. I just think it's strange how my mindset is so much different after having finally gotten back on plan. What is it that happens to your mind, when you've been off your diet for several days, that makes it so much easier to say yes to another day? But when you finally are back on plan, you don't want to screw that up. Is it just me? I hope that makes sense. Basically what I'm saying, is that now that I've been back on my diet for an entire day, and seen results that quickly, I've no doubt that I'll be much more inclined to stay on it. It's the first step that's always the toughest, isn't it?
On the other hand, I'm going to the cinema tonight. Hope I don't succumb to the delicious sweets offered there. :)

Hi there

We'll see how this goes. Past attempts at keeping blogs have been unsuccessful, as I blog for a few months, and then end up losing interest.
This will probably mostly be a weight-loss blog. I've been at it since October of 2009. I'm nearly to 70 pounds lost now, and would like to lose around 30 more, but I've hit a wall recently. It's my own fault, obviously. I recently took a trip to Italy. It was a walking holiday through Tuscany and Umbria, and I was walking lots each day, so I could eat basically what I wanted. Since returning to Spain, however, I've had a hard time getting back to my normal eating routine. It doesn't help that I've gotten rather bored with what I've been eating, so I've been seriously lacking motivation. I'm not yet sure how much of a purpose this blog will serve, but I know that it does help me to get my thoughts out, so that I can actually see what I need to reflect on.
Right, it's getting late here. We'll see if I remember this blog tomorrow. ;)